through my ribs, straight to my heart
by bravemccalll
Summary: Kazuichi Souda to mary, queen of scots, can suck my di: damn sonia thique Hajime Hinata has left the group. Chiaki: DDDDDDDDDDD: Hajime Hinata has been added to the group. Hajime: kaz shut up Chiaki: :DDDDDDDDDD / or jus a compilation of all my text fics in one place
1. my heart is yours, my love

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu to Kazuichi Souda: did u change my instagram username to weebfucker ?

Kazuichi: dude im not a hacker how could i have

Fuyuhiko: thats true

/

Hajime Hinata to Kazuichi Souda: were u the one who changed fuyuhiko's username

Kazuichi: ya lol

Kazuichi: he left his phone open how could i not bro

/

Peko Pekoyama to peko is a nerd lol: Why is the group chat title aimed at me?

Hajime: kaz found out you passed the chemistry assignment

Peko: ?

Peko: That's a requirement to sit the exam.

Kazuichi: oh shit

/

Chiaki Nanami to Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu: can u tell kaz im not speaking 2 him

Fuyuhiko: why

Chiaki: he said that pac man is """"""shit""""""

Fuyuhiko: no I meant why me

Fuyuhiko: also is he fuckin insane pac man is great

Chiaki: idk u were the first contact I saw

Chiaki: also right!

/

Hajime Hinata to Chiaki Nanami: he's staring at her again

Chiaki: who?

Hajime: fuyuhiko

Chiaki: ah

Hajime: like he can't even stare like a normal person

Hajime: he keeps doing it out of the corner of his eye as if he can be more subtle that way

Chiaki: ya but remember when u used 2 do that

Chiaki: w/ me

Chiaki: n nagito

Chiaki: ;)

Hajime: I never stared

Chiaki: sure hun

/

Hajime Hinata to Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu: did I ever stare at Chiaki and Nagito before we started dating?

Fuyuhiko: yup

Hajime: damn it

/

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu to Peko Pekoyama: where are you?

Peko: I'm at home.

Fuyuhiko: ok

Peko: Do you want me to come over?

Fuyuhiko: no it's fine

Peko: I'm already on my bike.

Fuyuhiko: don't text and drive!

Fuyuhiko: god

Fuyuhiko: but thanks

/

Kazuichi Souda to Hajime Hinata: hypothetically, if I were to buy Sonia 250 roses do u think she'd like them?

Hajime: jesus

Hajime: no

Kazuichi: ok

Kazuichi: hypothetically, if I had 250 roses how would I get rid of them

/

Kazuichi Souda changed the group name to operation: get fuyuhiko and peko together so we can finally know peace

Chiaki: omg

Hajime: oh no

Fuyuhiko: …

Peko: You do know that Fuyuhiko and I are in this group chat, yes?

Kazuichi: I think they're on 2 us guys

/

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu to Kazuichi Souda: why are you not in class

Kazuichi: what are you talking about? Im in class

Fuyuhiko: I can literally see you outside, trying to light a firework

Kazuichi: problem?

Fuyuhiko: yes your education is suffering

Fuyuhiko: that is a problem

Fuyuhiko: why are you lighting a firework anyway?

Kazuichi: was gonna use it 2 show sonia how my love for her burns like a firework

Fuyuhiko: jesus

Kazuichi: ya I kno

Kazuichi: ive been called the new Kant by many

Fuyuhiko: ?

Fuyuhiko: Kant was a philosopher, not a poet

Kazuichi: oh that's why hajime was laughing at me

/

Kazuichi Souda to when we go on x factor can we be called 'The Fearsome Fivesome': no one talk to hajime he's being a dick 2 me

Hajime: hey

Chiaki: hey hajime!

Fuyuhiko: hajime what's up

Peko: Hello Hajime.

Kazuichi: u all suck

Hajime: is someone talking?

Fuyuhiko: I don't hear anything

Peko: Me neither.

Chiaki: kaz who?

Kazuichi: ughhhhhhh

/

Peko Pekoyama to Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu: I am three minutes away from lying to get out of here.

Fuyuhiko: is the party that bad?

Peko: Yes. I just don't know what I'm going to say.

Fuyuhiko: I don't think you have to lie

Fuyuhiko: you could just leave

Peko: Perhaps. I wish you were here.

Fuyuhiko: oh

/

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu to Peko Pekoyama: I wish i was there too

/

Kazuichi Souda to jason derulo is a tru artist shut up h8ers: is it morally wrong to look at boobs

Fuyuhiko: go to fucking sleep

/

Hajime Hinata to Peko Pekoyama: did you see Nagito today?

Peko: No, why?

Hajime: he was iconic

Peko: How?

Hajime: he just was

Peko: Not to be rude, but why are you texting me this?

Hajime: Nagito doesn't have a phone and Chiaki is sleeping rn

Peko: Oh.

Peko: Why doesn't Nagito have a phone?

Hajime: his last one caught on fire

Peko: Oh. Ok.

/

Peko Pekoyama to Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu: How does a phone just catch fire?

Fuyuhiko: is this about komaeda

Fuyuhiko: because I really don't know

Fuyuhiko: I really don't

/

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu to Hajime Hinata: just realised that chiaki texts just like kazuichi

Fuyuhiko: hajime?

Fuyuhiko: I know you've read these

Fuyuhiko: are you ok?

/

Hajime Hinata to Chiaki Nanami: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Chiaki Nanami: ?

Hajime: nevermind

/

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu to kaz stop texting me dick jokes at 3am, go to sleep: what are we doing

Kazuichi: our best

Hajime: speak for yourself

/

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu to Peko Pekoyama: you know youre important right?

Fuyuhiko: like you mean a lot

Fuyuhiko: to me I mean

Fuyuhiko: not that u don't mean a lot to other people

Fuyuhiko: im sure there are other people that love you as well

Fuyuhiko: not that im saying I love u or anythign

Fuyuhiko: not that ur unloveabel

Fuyuhiko: why cant I delete messages

/

Peko Pekoyama to Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu: I love you too, Fuyuhiko.

/

Hajime Hinata to failing chemistry but im sexy so whatever: just saw Fuyuhiko and Peko kissing outside the school this morning!

Chiaki: aw

Kazuichi: was there tongue

Hajime: dude

Chiaki: cmon man

Peko: …

Fuuyuhiko: we're still in the chat guys

Kazuichi Souda changed the group name to operation: we're finally peace

Fuyuhiko: shut up

Kazuichi Souda changed the group name to no u


	2. bless the stars

Chiaki Nanami to Hajime Hinata: what r u going 2 get nagito 4 his birthday?

Hajime: I was thinking a phone?

Chiaki: woah

Chiaki: that's huge

Hajime: I know I was just thinking that if he had a phone he could text us

Hajime: I don't want him feeling left out you know

Chiaki: aw

Chiaki: that's cute

Chiaki: how bout we both put money in n buy him a phone 2gether?

Hajime: good idea

/

Kazuichi Souda to who would win in open combat; spongebob vs batman?: can some1 tell Hajime 2 stop sending pictures of me with insults photoshopped onto them in glitter pink its starting 2 hurt my feelings

Hajime Hinata sent an image

Kazuichi: :(((((((((

Fuyuhiko: wow hajime your right kaz does look like a divorced housewife with three kids

Peko: Why is that so specific?

Chiaki: we should be asking y its so accurate

/

Nagito Komaeda to Hajime Hinata: well I have a phone now

Hajime: !

Hajime: also cant believe that was ur first message ever

Hajime: lame

Nagito: damnit

Nagito: don't tell chiaki she'll drag me

/

Chiaki Nanami to Nagito Komaeda: aha lame

Nagito: :(

/

Hajime Hinata to penguins r people 2: Chiaki your overuse of exclamations marks are making everyone uncomfortable

Hajime: please stop

Chiaki: never!

Nagito: ill buy you the box set of bake off if you'll stop

Chiaki: ok

Kazuichi: priorities

/

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu to Nagito Komaeda: you can't get bake off as box sets

Nagito: I mean the real question here is how do you know that

Fuyuhiko: bye

/

Kazuichi Souda to skeet skeeT: does any1 have Sonia's number

Kazuichi: ?

Kazuichi: hello?

/

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu to Sonia Nevermind: ditch your phone

/

Chiaki Nanami to Sonia Nevermind: flee the country

/

Peko Pekoyama to Sonia Nevermind: I can get you a new identity, no questions asked.

/

Hajime Hinata to Sonia Nevermind: get out while you still can

/

Nagito Komaeda to Sonia Nevermind: opinion time: vanilla or chocolate icecream

Sonia: vanilla

Nagito: wrong answer

/

Kazuichi Souda to exams arent important right?: thx 4 sonia's number nagito

Fuyuhiko: damnit komaeda

/

Hajime Hinata to Chiaki Nanami: im leaving you for nagito

Chiaki: y

Hajime: he has all the shrek movies

Chiaki: fair

/

Nagito Komaeda to Hajime Hinata: stop telling people I have all the shrek movies!

Nagito: I don't and now they have standards

/

Sonia Nevermind to Chiaki Nanami: I heard that you and Hajime got Nagito a phone for his birthday.

Chiaki: ya

Sonia: Well, do you think I should get the same for Gundam for his birthday?

Chiaki: um

Chiaki: brb

/

Chiaki Nanami to giraffes have long necks cuz theyre full of secrets: should gundam get a phone

Hajime: hmmmm

Kazuichi: no!

Fuyuhiko: I would like to be able to text him about history

Peko: How did you communicate before?

Fuyuhiko: by pigeon

Kazuichi: imagine the damage he could do if he had a phone!

Hajime: well I have a limited supply of pigeons unfortunately so I vote yes

Kazuichi: betrayal!

/

Chiaki Nanami to Sonia Nevermind: ya get him 1

Sonia: Why am I getting an abundance of messages from Kazuichi about pigeons?

Chiaki: oh ya kno

Chiaki: thats just kaz

/

Chiaki Nanami to I love c(l)ocks: jus sayin but has any1 here actually seen a zebra

Hajime: darling,,,,,,,,, dearest,,,,,,,,,,,, the light of my life,,,,,,,,,,, pls go to sleep

Kazuichi: omg

Kazuichi: shes rite

Kazuichi: what if zebras arent real?

Nagito: im the one who came up with this idea btw

Hajime: I want a divorce

/

Chiaki Nanami to Hajime Hinata: hey

Chiaki: heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Hajime: your literally across the room why are you texting me

Chiaki: tell Nagito he looks cute 2day

Hajime: why don't you just text him that

Hajime: or better yet just tell him OUTLOUD considering you're in the same room

Chiaki: jus do it

Hajime: fine

Hajime: he says thanks

Chiaki: :D

/

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu to Peko Pekoyama: hey can you come and pick me up

Peko: Where are you?

Peko: Fuyuhiko?

Peko: Fuyuhiko your worrying me

Peko: fuyuhiko

Fuyuhiko: m fine

Fuyuhiko: m jus tired

Peko: where are you?

Fuyuhiko: Hajime's

Peko: I'm coming to get you

Fuyuhiko: u know ur really pretty

Fuyuhiko: like ur eyes

Fuyuhiko: are marvelous

Peko: are you drunk?

Fuyuhiko: no

Fuyuhiko: I jus havent slept in like

Fuyuhiko: too long

Peko: you can sleep at my place

Fuyuhiko: ur the best

Fuyuhiko: I love you

/

Kazuichi Souda to mary, queen of scots, can suck my di: damn sonia thique

Hajime Hinata has left the group.

Chiaki: DDDDDDDDDDD:

Hajime Hinata has been added to the group.

Hajime: kaz shut up

Chiaki: :DDDDDDDDDD

/

Nagito Komaeda to Hajime Hinata: I hate poetry

Hajime: your literally studying english

Nagito: ye

/

Gundam Tanaka to Hajime Hinata: WHERE IS THE HISTORY HOMEWORK

Hajime: um

Hajime: i have a spare sheet I can give you

Gundam: THAT WOULD BE MOST BENEFITIAL

Gundam: DROP THEM OFF AT MY FRONT DOORSTEP

Hajime: but

Hajime: fine

/

Nagito Komaeda to Hajime Hinata: but you don't even know where he lives

Hajime: yup

Hajime: im just gonna give it to sonia and hope she knows

/

Kazuichi Souda to kids r us more like I wanna die: do u think I should write a poem 4 sonia

Hajime: god no

Kazuichi: too late :)

/

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu to welp im failing: just saw Teruteru get fuckin decked in maths this morning

Hajime: wow why

Fuyuhiko: he grabbed Akane's ass so she turned around and just knocked his teeth out

Chiaki: what an icon

Nagito Komaeda changed the group name to: Akane Owari for president 2020


	3. don't leave me alone, honey

Hajime Hinata to Kazuichi Souda: stop egging my house im tired

Kazuichi: soz

Hajime: I can hear u still egging

Kazuichi: im still soz

/

Chiaki Nanami to Peko Pekoyama: can I get a bird

Peko: Why are you asking me?

Chiaki: should I not be asking u?

Peko: No, you should.

Chiaki: sooooooo, yes?

Peko: Oh.

Peko: Definitely not.

/

Hajime Hinata to Chiaki Nanami: do you guys have a group chat without me?

Chiaki: wat? No

/

Chiaki Nanami to Hajime's birthday chat: he's onto us

/

Peko Pekoyama to Nagito Komaeda: Just realised that I don't know how many sugars you take in your tea.

Nagito: I don't have a specified amount.

Peko: Oh?

Nagito: ye I just pour until im sure that ill die of a heart attack sooner rather than later

/

Peko Pekoyama to Hajime Hinata: I worry about your boyfriend a lot.

Hajime: same

/

Nagito Komaeda to Hajime's birthday chat: what are you getting Hajime for his birthday

Kazuichi: a printed picture of a saxophone

Fuyuhiko: a what

Peko: What?

Kazuichi: he knows what it means

Fuyuhiko: that is so ominous what the fu

/

Kazuichi Souda to santa is a capitalist's dream wake up america: does any1 else wanna just run into the wood and get lost 4ever

Hajime: oh dear god not again

Hajime: if I come over to your house and ur not there I will kill u

/

Chiaki Nanami to Nagito Komaeda: I would kill 13.5 people 4 u

Nagito: how do u kill .5 of a person

Chiaki: only kill their top half

Nagito: gotcha

/

Kazuichi Souda to 2 wrongs don't make a pie: just bought a body pillow of billy ray cyrus

Hajime: why

Kazuichi: why not

Fuyuhiko: do you want the list alphabetised?

/

Peko Pekoyama to Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu: my heart feels like a garbage disposal

Fuyuhiko: kaz give peko her phone back

Peko: damn

/

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu to dogs are better than people, facts ONLY: komaeda send me one more picture of Guy Fueri I dare you

Nagito: :)

/

Hajime Hinata to if any1 wants hajimes front door key come to the park at midnight: kaz how did you get my front door key

Kazucihi: u were hacked

Hajime: it's a PHYSICAL key

Chiaki: hackers these days r gettin scary :/

Nagito: what park do I come to?

Hajime: nagito pls

/

Hajime Hinata to beep twice if u wanna die: someone ask me what's wrong I have a really funny joke

Fuyuhiko: what's wrong

Hajime: nothing

Hajime: the joke is that everything is wrong and I wanna die

Chiaki: babe omg

Hajime: :)

/

Kazuichi Souda to Nagito Komaeda: dude u gotta live in the momeny

Kazuichi: moment

Nagito: ur my momeny kaz :)

Kazuichi: blocked

/

Peko Pekoyama to live in the momeny: Chiaki is going to kill me tomorrow.

Fuyuhiko: ?

Peko: Apparently I was eating a kit-kat incorrectly.

Chiaki: there r separate sections for a reason, u don't just bite into iT LIKE A HEATHEN

Chiaki: also whats a momeny?

Kazuichi: let it go

Chiaki: ?

/

Chiaki Nanami to one lifetime…one momeny: catch me wearing a KFC bucket bc I wanna look finger lickin good

Hajime: kaz give chiaki her phone back

Chiaki: damn

/

Nagito Komaeda to PATRICIA….honey could u please be quiet: brownies get rid of my frownies

Kazuichi: wheelies destory my feelies

Nagito: give me a momeny, I need to think of another response

Kazuichi: god DAMN it

/

Peko Pekoyama to Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu: I am off 2 study the blade.

Fuyuhiko: kaz give peko her phone back

Peko: No this is actually me.

Peko: I'm taking a knife class.

Fuyuhiko: oh.

/

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu to Hajime Hinata: what is a knife class

Hajime: sounds scary

Fuyuhiko: peko's taking it

Hajime: scariER

/

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu to Peko Pekoyama: I support u

Fuyuhiko: unless its dangerous

Fuyuhiko: where I'll still support u but fear for my life

Fuyuhiko: bc I love u

Peko: I was kidding its me kaz

Peko: fuyuhiko?

Peko: is that u outside my house?

Peko: if u kill me pls leave my hair alone

/

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu to hedgehogs are angels and I will fight a bitch over this: kaz is dead

Nagito: tragic

Chiaki: f

Kazuichi: u guys r assholes :(

Hajime: did u guys hear something?

/

Kazuichi Souda to whats the gecko's name from that car insurance ad?: yeah I smoke weed

Peko: Don't.

Kazuichi: W - I  
E - Respect  
E - Women  
D - .

Kazuichi Souda sent a photo.

Hajime: is peko threatening you with a bunsen burner?

Chiaki: chemistry is wild

Fuyuhiko: get em sweetie

Nagito: y don't u guys support me like that

Chiaki: bc u want twenty cats and u cant afford that

Nagito: not the point

/

Hajime Hinata to Hajime's birthday chat: hey just wanted to let you guys know that you accidentally added me ages ago

Hajime: but i love all u dummies anyway

Chiaki: not saying that fuyuhiko made up the chat buuuuuuut...

Fuyuhiko: bitch

Hajime Hinata changed the group name to Hajime's not so secret birthday chat

Hajime: also nagito dont get me a cat, u just want to get that for yourself

Nagito: :((((((((((((((((((((

Peko: I wish I had made other friends in my first year of high school.

Kazuichi: rude


End file.
